A few weeks ago, my nine-year-old and I headed out for a bike ride. He’d signed up for a youth triathlon and needed some extra bike practice. My bike, a floral beach cruiser, had been sitting in our garage—unused—for years. The last time I remember riding a bike was pre-kids, so it had been a solid decade.
But! I had a bike. I felt reasonably sure I remembered how to ride a bike. And my son needed someone to ride with him so he could train. So my floral beach cruiser and I accepted the job.
Our first bike ride was fantastic. I loved coasting down the hills and the feeling of the breeze ruffling my hair. I wondered why it had been so long since I’d ridden a bike (the answer, dear reader, is very simple: kids). We made it a couple of miles and arrived back home sweaty but feeling accomplished.
A few days later, we headed out for our second bike ride. That first ride had given us a boost of confidence, and we were eager to see if we could go a little bit further this time.
The feeling of confidence lasted approximately three minutes, when, just around the corner from our house, I felt a tug on my shoelace. Seconds later, my shoelace was completely twisted around the pedal and I was standing on the sidewalk, stuck to my bike.
It was twisted too tightly to slide the lace back over the pedal. I’d double-knotted it, and there wasn’t enough give to untie the shoe. The shoelace was pulled so tightly that there was no way to get my foot out of the shoe. My foot was stuck to the pedal, at an awkward angle, and I couldn’t get my other leg over the bike without collapsing in a heap on the ground, which would inevitably cause the bike to land on top of me.
The only thing I could do was stand there on the sidewalk, stuck to my bike.
A neighbor walked by and inquired if I was okay. “My shoelace got stuck,” I said, embarrassed and flustered.
“Do you want me to get some scissors?” she asked.
“Umm,” I stalled, totally unsure what to do. “I think I’m going to keep trying to figure it out. But thank you!” She walked on with her dogs, and I continued to struggle. My son got off his bike to see if he could help. But it was no use.
Three or four minutes later, I was still just as stuck as when I’d started. Another dog-walking neighbor walked by. When this one offered to run home and get scissors, I accepted the offer.
“I’ve been riding bikes forever,” he said, cutting my shoelace free from the bike. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”
Leave it to me, I thought to myself. Out loud, I said, “Thank you so much. I really appreciate your help!”
“No problem,” he called over his shoulder as he returned home. I sat down on the sidewalk with the pieces of my shoelace in one hand and contemplated my options.
This bike ride was not going like I planned. Part of me wanted to call it quits, return home, and forget about it. But my son was waiting. And he was ready to ride. I adjusted my shoelaces, tying the now very short shoelaces on my right shoe, and making sure the loops on my left shoe weren’t big enough to slip over a pedal. I got back on my bike.
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This past weekend, I went to Chicago for a writing retreat. I’d never met a single person on the trip before in real life, though I’ve interacted with many of them virtually through Exhale Creativity for years.
There were times, between saying yes to the trip, and actually getting there, that I got nervous, and wanted to back out. Showing up to spend three days in a new city with over thirty women I’d never met before was a little intimidating.
But I got on the plane. I flew to Chicago.
And on Saturday morning, as our group sat writing and learning in the Oak Park Public Library, I kept thinking about all the little nudges that led to that moment.
This retreat happened because—over the course of years—women have paid attention and said yes when they felt a creative nudge.
said yes when she felt the nudge to start , and then Exhale Creativity—the thing that connected all of us. said yes to opening her home for the weekend, and to sharing her knowledge and creativity in mixing cocktails. said yes to sharing her baking prowess and giving us a cake decorating demonstration. said yes to organizing and managing all the details. Women from all over the country said yes to figuring out childcare and travel and showing up, even when it seemed intimidating.Whether the nudges have been big or small, all of those yesses over the years added up to over thirty moms from all over the country coming together and prioritizing creative community.
There are so many points when someone could have ignored a nudge and said “no” along the way, and this incredible and amazing, life-giving weekend wouldn’t have happened.
I just can’t stop thinking about that: how one decision leads to another. How saying yes to a tiny creative spark can fan a flame. What tiny seeds can grow into.
That day when I got back on the bike, pieces of my shoelace in hand, I felt a nudge: keep going. I listened, despite my nervousness—what if I somehow got my shoelace stuck again? What if I fell over this time?
Last week, when my husband dropped me off at the airport, a wave of anxiety washed over me—was I really flying to Chicago to spend a whole weekend with people I’d never met before? But something in me knew: this was where I needed to be.
The bike ride was great. Chicago was even better.
It makes me wonder: what do we miss when we ignore those little nudges that push us out of our comfort zone?
My writing partner, Laura Rennie, had a wonderful essay in the Coffee + Crumbs fall collection: Team Neon Yellow.
I’ve been a pen-and-paper, handwritten list girl for so long, but I’ve been playing around with the Todoist app, and I kind of love it. (Though I maintain that there are times when only a handwritten list will do, and I have my eye on this adorable notepad for those occasions).
Three recent purchases that got a lot of use on my Chicago trip: these ballet flats, this crossbody bag, and this denim jacket.
I’ve been heavy on the memoirs lately: You Could Make This Place Beautiful and How to Stay Married (The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told) are both about hard topics but beautifully written. Greenlights was my book club's pick this month, and I recommend listening to it on audio!
In the non-memoir category, I finally got Remarkably Bright Creatures after a long library holds list, and it was every bit as wonderful as I’d heard.
I read Once I Was Cool in preparation for my trip to Chicago, where I got to hear the author, Megan Stielstra speak. I also got to meet my writing partner, Laura (whose essay I mentioned above), IRL for the time. We are facilitating our third small group through The Artist’s Way this fall, and I learn something new every time I go through the (well-worn) pages of that book!
Grab your free September Snapshot PDF to record your favorite memories from this month.
Memory Making
Did you know that 4th graders get a free pass to the National Parks during their fourth-grade school year? The whole family can visit the parks for free—what a perfect way to make some memories. For anyone who has aspirations to visit all the parks, this water bottle would be a super fun way to track your visits!
Memory Keeping
My Chicago trip reminded me of how great shared photo albums are. It’s such a fun and easy way to share photos with a group or from an event. It takes some of the pressure off of feeling like you have to capture every single moment on your own, and removes the chaos of having twenty different cameras trying to get the same photo.
Until Next Time
Anyone else have a good bike story? Or an internet-friends-turned-real-life friends story? I’d love to hear them!
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Big fan of bike rides over here. 👏🏻👏🏻 and saying yes to little nudges. and meeting writing partners in real life. 😜
Love this and the nudges that brought us together! Hope to meet you in person soon too! And I may need to get that water bottle. So cool!